Dr Saxe

When You Just Have To Go

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. 

Both were very faithful and loving wives; however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee; so they stopped in the cemetery.

Neither had anything to wipe with so one of them thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they continued on home.

The next day one of the woman’s husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed, hung over; so he phoned the other husband and said: ‘These girl nights out have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst. .. my wife came home with no panties!’

That’s nothing,’ said the other husband.

Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said……

 ”From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you.”

Plenty of Perks with Direct TV

Direct TV has everything that I need for the up and coming football season that I’ve been so anxious to get started. It seems like forever since the Super Bowl was played and I’m ready for this year’s season to get up and running. Football has always been my favorite of all sports and this year it should be an exciting season.

DirectTV has been good to me through out the years. I like being able to pay my bill online and I appreciate the $100 referral program that I have taken advantage of several times with friends and family members signing up with them as well. They get $100 also, so we all come out ahead. 

I’m glad that I switched to Satellite Directv, I’d had enough of the local cable company and their lack of customer service and customer appreciation. With Direct T V I get plenty of perks, with free pay per view movies here and there and free movie channels periodically, which is always nice to enjoy now and then, I like free!

The Listener

I’m looking forward to watching tonight’s premiere of “The Listener” on NBC. I’ve seen commercials for it lately and it has sparked my interest. I’m hoping that I’m not disappointed, it isn’t easy finding good programs on TV these days.

Term Life Insurance, It’s The Right Thing to Do

It’s a sad state of affairs not to have some time of life insurance these days. With the help of the Internet you can find cheap life insurance in a matter of minutes. Back in my day you had to know an insurance agent, or have one recommended by family or friend, or even worse calling office by office by way of the local Yellow Pages. All in an effort to find decent life insurance quotes that would secure your family’s future and pay for your final expenses, which are getting more expensive each year.

Term Insurance is fairly affordable, and you can let the computer do the work for you by bringing you all the information that you need help compare prices and policies from insurance companies all over. Like at financialone.com where you can get online term life insurance quotes in a matter of minutes. They will provide you with some of the lowest rates in the industry, pretty much a one stop shop for fast online quotes, nice and easy like.

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.The answer can be found by posing the following question:  

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt Model 1911 45 cal. automatic pistol, and you are an expert shot.

You have a mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer :
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed?Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?What does my wife think?What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun, like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law, say about this situation? Does the pistol, have appropriate safety built into it?Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?Should I call 9-1-1?Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:  

BANG!

Redneck’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG !
Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! Click
Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! ‘
Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’
Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist