Dr Saxe

Don’t Be A Dick

A trooper pulls over a guy named Dick.

The cop says, “Your eyes are red and I think I can smell alcohol. Have you been drinking tonight?”

“Well, officer,” says Dick. “Your eyes are awfully glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?”

The Only Way to Know for Sure

This morning a small group of women were at the coffee shop having their latte’s and I overheard them chatting about their husbands.

The first woman said, ”My husband said he was going to his office last night, but when I called, they said he wasn’t there!”

”That’s odd,” another woman said, ”last night my husband said he was going over to his brother’s house for a couple hours, but when I called he wasn’t there.”

Then, the oldest woman in the group says, with a bit of an air, ”I always know where my husband is.”

”No way!” the other women exclaimed, ”He has you totally fooled!”

”Oh no,” said the woman. ”I’ve been a widow for years.”

Ink Bargains

Took some work home with me last night and needed to print out the reports to drop them off at the office. but when I finished the spreadsheets and went to print them out, up pops that gray box that says I’m out of ink. So the printer just sits there, silently mocking me with it’s little red warning light blinking on and off.

My desk’s top drawer has a handful of ink cartridges for my printers that I’ve been buying at Wal-Mart. Not a problem to break open a replacement cartridge and pop it in the printer. But these cartridges are getting expensive and my supply is running low, so I need to get online and order some from a cheaper source.

Wouldn’t hurt if I could save a little money on the purchase price, so I’m cool with getting compatible brands or even recycled inkjet cartridges. The types of printing that I do at home is usually black and white reports for work and some photos from my digital camera that I print on my little Epson photo stylus.

I like to use promotional discounts for inkjet printer cartridges for both of those printer and it’s even better if I can find a site that offers free shipping. That makes it a lot cheaper than driving around town buying the same things and wasting all that time and gas - especially with the price of gas over $4 a gallon now.

Bumped My Shows

Wednesday night is tough one for scheduling my TV watching. I really like the series called, Criminal Minds,” which comes on at 9:00 on CBS. Then, at 10:00 I have to switch to the FX channel to watch a new show called “Sons of Anarchy.”

Well, as critical as the Wall Street bailout may seem to the President and Congress this week, I don’t think the President’s address to the nation explained anything that we didn’t already know and it didn’t convince me that anyone in Washington really knows what they are going to be able to do about it. But we missed 15 minutes of the start time for Criminal Minds, which meant that show ran long and cut into the Sons of Anarchy start time, which was not delayed like all the network stations.

Criminal Minds was a good episode, although I figured out both twists early in the story. I could write that show. But since Sons of Anarchy started on time and I missed the first 15 minutes, I decided to shelve that show tonight and just go on to bed early. I can watch Sons of Anarchy tomorrow “on demand.”

How Hungry?

Tonight I wanted to pick up a few fresh vegetables and a pound of ground chuck for dinner. I had in mind making a batch of seasoned hamburgers and putting them on the grill with some skewered marinated vegetables. So I gathered up about $40 worth of planned groceries and a few impulse items (fresh baked Italian bread, a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies, etc) and got in line to check out. The lines seemed awfully long for the middle of the week and I soon discovered why they were moving so slowly. The store’s credit card processing and check clearing computer terminals were not working. There was a hand printed sign at the end of the checkout counter warning all customers that the cashiers were only able to take cash for the purchase of groceries tonight and were not able to accept credit cards due to the computer malfunction.

Now, I had two $20 bills and it wasn’t that big a problem for me, but there were lots of people who didn’t realize they could not use their plastic cards and were abandoning their baskets and leaving the store. I felt bad for the store manager, but they were not handling this problem well. There should have been signs on the entrance doors plus announcements over the P.A. system to advise the customers of the problem and apologize for the gross inconvenience.